Like I said, I want to start from the beginning. Today, I am going to share Caleb's birth story with you. It was such an amazing and perfect experience, and it is often overlooked because of everything we went through after he was born. John and I decided that we wanted a natural birth and chose the Bradley Method. It is based on the idea that the husband should be a coach to the wife and be an active participant in the birth of their child. We did twelve weeks of classes, complete with home exercises and practices to prepare. We learned a lot about the birth process and what to expect. John and I had a vision of how we wanted to bring Caleb into the world. The following is taken from a journal I kept while Caleb was in the hospital.
Our long journey began on Thursday, April 25, at 4 pm. After spending a little time reading, I got up to start dinner before we left for our last Bradley class. On the way to the kitchen, I decided to squat down to do my pelvic tilts (both are exercises the Bradley Method wants to be done several times a day). When I squatted, I heard a pop and felt a gush of liquid fill my shorts; my water had broken. They say you can't hear your water break; they are wrong.
I couldn't believe my water had broken for several reasons. First, I was only 39 weeks pregnant. Statistics show, that it is not very likely your first baby will be on time or early, so we were expecting Caleb to be at least a week late. Second, there is a small percentage of labors that begin with the water breaking, despite how birth is portrayed in movies and TV.
I stayed in the squat position, in utter disbelief. Our dog, Bailey, was staring at me, and I stared back. I kept repeating, "Oh no," over and over to her. I finally got it together and told myself to get to the bathroom I took a couple steps and realized that I should probably call John and would need my phone to do so. I waddled back to the living room to get my phone then waddled to the bathroom.
I called John to tell him the exciting news. His first response was, "Did you call Marilyn (our Bradley instructor)?"
"No," I responded. "I wanted to tell you first."
He then asked if I was sure my water had broken. I told him without a doubt; I was absolutely positive. I apologize if this is too much information for you, but when your water breaks this early in a pregnancy, you know. There is no mistaking it. I was in the bathroom for 45 minutes waiting for the fluid to stop coming.
After calling John, we got things moving. I called my parents to let them know. My mom decided to go ahead and make the drive from Alabama to Louisiana; it would take her about 8.5 hours. Then, I called Marilyn who told me that we should come to class if I could. All this happened while I was at my post in the bathroom. I was truly amazed at the amount of fluid that drains after the bag breaks. I made my way to the shower to get cleaned off and, somehow, had the presence of mind to shave my legs.
I finally got comfortable enough for us to head to our class at 6 pm. My water broke two hours prior, and I still hadn't really felt any contractions. During class, I started feeling minor contractions. They weren't painful, just a bit uncomfortable. We left after an hour, with the plan to get some sleep because we knew we would have a long night ahead of us.
When we got home at 7:15 pm, I laid down for my nap. By 7:30, the contractions were too intense to sleep through. I felt them all in my back...oh no, back labor! I had it from the very beginning, and it was awful. John suggested I take a bath and got it ready for me. The warm water was a relief on my aching back. It was the night of the NFL draft, and I remember apologizing to John that he was missing it because he was in the bathroom with me. It's amazing the things you say during labor. I stayed in the tub for about an hour.
The back labor was so intense that I decided to lay in bed. John helped me to our bed, where I laid on my side and tried to implement the relaxation techniques we had learned about in class. John was an AMAZING coach. He pointed out where I was holding on to tension and helped with my breathing. He basically rubbed my back with a tennis ball through every contraction. My contractions were two minutes apart, lasting 30-45 seconds and would stay that way throughout the entire first stage of labor. For those of you who don't know much about labor and birth, contractions are, typically, supposed to start off far apart and get closer together and last longer. Mine did not.
During the time I was in bed, John was running downstairs and back up to get me water, food or whatever else I needed. Like I said, he rubbed my back practically all night. I felt like he was doing so much more work than me!
I constantly felt the need to pee. John would help me to the bathroom, but I couldn't sit without feeling an excruciating pain in my back. It was unlike anything I've ever felt, and I couldn't use the bathroom, which was torture.
A couple hours into it, I asked John for the time. It was 9:45 pm. I was surprised that it had already been two hours but figured I had a lot of work left.
John suggested I take a shower to ease my back labor. We didn't stay in the shower long because I just wanted to be in bed. I got back in bed and asked for the time again. It was 10:45 pm. At some point around 11 pm, John was on the phone asking Marilyn when we should leave for the hospital. Our plan was to wait until I was close to transition (which is right before the pushing stage). I wanted to be in the hospital laboring as little as possible. We didn't think it was time to go the hospital yet, but I was getting a little worried. I hadn't noticed Caleb move at all.
After another 30-45 minutes in bed, we decided to make our way downstairs and get ready to leave. If I was standing when a contraction hit, I had to drop to my hands and knees. I couldn't take them standing up. Sometimes, John would do hip squeezes to try to relieve the pressure in my back, but mostly he stuck to rubbing it with the tennis ball. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, I had a contraction and dropped to my knees and rested my head on the second or third step. I stayed right there until we left for the hospital.
The contractions were so strong. They were still two minutes apart, lasting 45 seconds. John was trying to get us ready to leave, but he only had one minute and 15 seconds at a time to do things. If he wasn't with me and I felt a contraction coming, I would panic, so he had to do what he needed to do and get back to my side in between the contractions. We had another discussion about leaving for the hospital. I told him I didn't want to leave yet because I didn't think we were close enough to the pushing stage. I wasn't having many of the typical sign posts you would expect to see during transition.
The time I labored on the stairs was the hardest. The contractions felt like they were nonstop. I thought I was going to throw up from the pain. We didn't know it at the time, but I was transitioning.
Around midnight, we decided to leave for the hospital. I was still worried that we weren't very far into the labor, but I was more worried that I hadn't felt Caleb move. I also wanted to be in a bed and thought the hospital was the best place for us.
It was around this time that the contractions started to space out and get less intense. It was the best time for the drive to the hospital. On the way, I only had a couple contractions. Once we parked the car, we headed into the hospital. On the way in, I had a contraction, so we stopped and slow danced. I told John that I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. This happened once more before we got to the elevator.
We finally arrived at labor and delivery. They put me in a triage room to take my vitals and check to see how far I had dilated. Originally, I didn't want them to check me at all. At this point, I didn't want to make it an issue; I just wanted to get into a bed. I was tired. I told the nurse she could check me, but I didn't want to know how far along I was. I was so worried that she would tell me I was just 5 cm and still had a ways to go.
The nurse went to check me and said, "We need to get you in a room. I see hair."
It took several seconds for me to understand what she meant: she could see Caleb's hair! It was time to start pushing. I want to pause here and just say how miraculous this was. We wanted to do all the labor at home. It was a "dream" to get to the hospital and start pushing. John and I did the hardest part of labor by ourselves, and it was amazing. John was an incredible coach, and I couldn't have done it without him.
I felt renewed as we walked to our room; it was around 12:30 am. We had to stop for one more contraction before I was able to get to the bed. I didn't have an overwhelming urge to push, and we were taught not to push until then. So we took our time getting settled into the room.
I got on to the bed on hands and knees, thinking that would feel the best based on how I had labored until this point. I tried pushing but wasn't giving it my all. I'm not sure if it was the position or lack of the "overwhelming" urge, but it wasn't very effective. After several contractions and pushes in that position, I switched to squatting but soon got too tired to squat and resorted to the classic style after about an hour and a half of pushing.
Almost two hours of pushing later, at 2:30 am, April 26, our beautiful baby boy was born. He came into the world at 19" long and 6 lb 12 oz and was perfect. He screamed for a solid five minutes and spent an hour and a half skin-to-skin with me.
Our birth experience was perfect. It went exactly how we hoped. God gave us a precious gift in our son and our birth experience. We are so thankful we have Caleb. His birth is a memory we will always hold close to our hearts.
Psalm 139:13-16
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My form was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
