Part of Something Bigger

"I honestly believe that God has a special plan for Caleb," his pediatrician told me at his 12 month baby visit. "He has already touched so many lives each day of his life just by living."

She went on to tell me about her church prayer tree, and how Caleb has been a part of it since we first met her.

Although other people have said exactly what his doctor said this morning, it made me stop and think. I have thought often about how unfair it has been, the things Caleb has endured, but this morning I thought differently.

If Caleb, if we, didn't have to go through these things, would we be the same people today? No. Well, maybe Caleb because he is a baby, but he wouldn't be the same person he is going to be 5 years from now, or 50 years from now. Our experiences truly shape us, and even though Caleb won't remember these things, we will. We will share it with him, and it will shape him, for God's purpose.

It became so clear to me. It is not whether something is fair or unfair. Countless babies endure this and much worse, and it is not fair for any of them. In our human minds, no child should have to endure hardships, but they do, for a reason.

This morning, I feel blessed, more than blessed, HONORED. God chose us-John, Caleb and me-to bear this burden, so that we can be part of something great, something bigger than us. Coming from his Caleb's mom this may not bear much weight, but I know what they say is true: God has great plans for Caleb. And however small my part may be in it, I still get to be part of it. God trusted me with this child. I am so honored, but I know that I have a great responsibility, first to God, second to John, third to Caleb. It is on us to help Caleb find God's path for him.

Wow. Major responsibility.

I will not be able to do this without God, obviously. But, what I think is important today, is that I finally feel it. To me, that is a vital step. I cannot keep thinking about fair or unfair circumstances; instead, I have to remember that God's plan is bigger than what is fair and what is not. His plan is bigger than me. But He is still letting me be a part of it.

His doctor is not the first person to tell me this. Family members' churches all over the country, world even, have been praying for Caleb since he was just a few days old. He is on so many prayer lists that I can't keep count. Family members have often told us they feel that Caleb is meant for something great.

My Uncle John and Aunt Ada's church, which my parents have recently started attending, refer to Caleb as "their baby." It is truly amazing how many lives one individual, one very small individual, can touch. Complete strangers love our son, and I hope that one day they can meet him.

I pray that we are strong enough, that we trust God enough, to follow God's path.

Keep praying for us, keep praying for Caleb. He's meant for great things.

Romans 5:3-5
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.